How to tell if a lady is in love - Gistyou


Saturday, 5 May 2018

How to tell if a lady is in love


I have a young son in his early 20s, so this gives me the privilege of meeting quite a number of his friends and school mates. My son and I are also very close, and I mean, very close. Together, we have come a long way and weathered many storms of life, which leaves us almost dependant on each other, sometimes, to the exclusion of others. Invariably, my writings have impacted so much on him such that he sees himself working in the communication industry, which I am not seriously agreeable to. He has an impressive number of friends who come around often, because they are always assured of our presence at home. Our dining table, usually hosts our regular discussions about almost any subject relating to growing up and the Nigeria nation. Because of the noholds bar on issues between my son and I, many of them are often unabashed discussing with me too. 
A common complaint with majority of them is that they have no one to sit them down and talk about growing up. For many, the fathers are often too busy and never around to bond with them, while their mothers are often also too shy to educate them on the needful. Being raised by single parents, male or female for varied reasons, makes things more complex for many too. A young man once told me that the only conversation his dad ever had with him about drug abuse was a question, “..or have you also started using drugs?”, when they heard that one of his cousins had become an addict. To which he simply answered no and the conversation ended. Another told us about how his randy father is almost fixated about meeting his girlfriends and is always suspecting him with any girl he sees in his company. His father to his annoyance often gives him a thumbs up or mischievous winks on such occasions, adding that female friends on his social media picture displays are not spared from his wild suggestions. Instructively, his father has never sat him down to discuss girl issues, relationship issues or even how to be a good man.

These young men confess that what is often drummed into their ears is the warning to stay away from girls so as not to impregnate anyone. No one tells them about puberty and the challenges of growing up and taking care of themselves, about sex, sexuality and the little details such as unsafe sex, drugs and addiction, dating, courtship, marriage, how to relate with the opposite sex and how to identify the sort of girl to marry. They have had to source from these information on their own. A number of them have walked away with copies of my book, Youth, Sex and Wellbeing, published in 2013. However, one of the most interesting and hilarious discussions we had recently was about ways to identify if a girl loves a guy or not which progressed into what an ideal wife should be. 

You need to hear what these young men all had to say about the young ladies they have come in contact with. From the normal shape, height and size to expectation, number of children, money, profession, etc. Since none of them is thinking about marriage for now, our deliberation dwelled more on friendships and relationships. Some of the points I have summarised here to share with other young guys as well as older but searching men. In another edition, we will examine who is a wife material and if indeed, they are available.

Women are not particularly vocal about their feelings early in on relationships as men are. This is because they usually don’t want to put themselves out there too early and risk “scaring off ” a man, or appearing too “cheap

To be continued

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